frequently ignored

there are times when instinct drowns all which surrounds, like the snake which insists to swallow everything in sight. everything; trees, houses, elephants, people... desires, often, do not just arise, there is a provocation, an alarm, a bomb of lust.

my skin, as of late, whenever touched, explodes with tingling meteor showers. don't tell anyone.

a scent... beside me, the path dances with wild strawberries. wild strawberries. and in this moment, it's all that i could ever need.

this year, is MY year.



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wake up in the morning feeling like p diddy

at last, i feel capable of magical things, that my imagination can take me anywhere; that this, this is the life - one lived through which logic does not exist, to defy fear and pain, the risk to do stupid things without words to explain.

memory is a horrible thing.. may i never forget how it feels to be so full.



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masters and slaves to experience

i gaze deep down the throat of boredom and wonder if it's not what i have been scared to death of these past years. moving, but to what? i am verbose in my creation only to cover up what gurgles and burps beneath. the bored little girl in turn floods me with it. i am scattered easily.

but lately, things have began to strengthen. true, the blues gut me everytime but this time i become fascinated by my insides, by my reactions to small things that sting, killer bees of sadness. like him, i consume myself but only as far as to catch myself before there is nothing left to eat. the hole deepens everytime, my teeth sharper, an expert at self destruction. to destroy anything else would be far more challanging. you quit before it even begins, easier that way.

i have a challange for you: speak to three strangers tonight and find out something special about their lives


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what do blind people dream about?

it's excruciatingly annoying that i cannot figure this out.

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i call bullshit, BABE

this time of night either drowns me or sets me on fire. a new year - a strange; terrifying, joyful, exuberant and reconfirming experience..

perhaps some things inside me were killed for good. from the first stroke i have been delirious and intoxicated with expression. tonight is it's opposite, it's wretched caress. perhaps i am tired of no sleep and poltergeists. or this long spell without really writing anything. of wanting so much to learn things but never choosing individual things, giving them all my efforts. the curse of being so set in my ways. perhaps it's charlie and friends. the past few nights i have been marvelling at how happy and full i am.

i think the sound of another sleeping is the greatest in the world. liar.



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i am just as innocent as i look

no, really.

addict

coca-cola how i enjoy you WAY too much

how strange it is to be anything at all

"you can be anywhere when your life begins, when the future opens up in front of you. and you may not even realize it at first, but its already happening.."



i find it extremely interesting how love and hate cling to each other like bed partners, consuming each other with passion, attempting to literally fuck your brains away with their sheer lust. they grip and fondle and sway together in rhythm, never equal, never static. first one rises then the other subdues. a frenzied mind fuck.

i rather enjoy being 21

back to blogging

This blog is pretty much dead, content-wise.

I could never really stick to one thing for too long. Change is more interesting than constants, anyway.

Silly melodrama aside, I am the happiest I can remember being.

HEART & HUNGER

so much for endings. beginnings are always more fun. true connoisseurs, however, are known to favor the stretch in between, since it's the hardest to do anything with.
that's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what and a what and a what.

now try how and why.

take two

lisa it's your birthday, happy birthday lisa

pony?

disheveled

friday, the day i was learning how to fly.
i guess this photo sums up my night.

come on amy winehouse, we're going home

things i would like to make clear:
1. whoever scored my really expensive blazer at fashion on friday, you're a jerk and i hate you.
2. same goes for my lipgloss.
3. how did i get pink in my hair?
4. were there party poppers involved?
5. who's aerobics jumper did i have on and does anyone have evidence of this?
6. cheap vodka and jager impairs the memory.
7. rhiana needs to fuck off. period.

i miss

wicked

sneaky photo i managed to take.

happy 22nd darling karli

ragin'

where thrills are cheap and love is divine.

you are always getting ready to live but never living.

"what everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness"




gratefulness is the key to a happy life, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy because we will always want to have something else or something more.

will you die happy?

three passions have governed my life:

the longings for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. in the union of love i have seen in a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined. with equal passion i have sought knowledge. i have wished to understand the hearts of others. i have wished to know why the stars shine.

love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, but always pity brought me back to earth; cries of pain reverberated in my heart of children in famine, of victims tortured and of old people left helpless. i long to alleviate the evil, but i cannot, and i too suffer. i will keep trying.

this has been my life; i find it worth living.

sometimes words are just enough

take it while it comes because it don't last long
hesitate and the moments gone
run in the rain and howl at the moon
fall in love way too soon
take my hand as the music starts
and we'll dance to the beat of your heart

i know you stumble down that road
trembling from the cold
but this heart, this love can save you
it can save you

i.will.dance.to.the.beat.of.your.heart.

over the knee socks

im glad i've found a friend in the same suburb. im blessed