through the looking glass

alice - "would you tell me please, which way i ought to go from here?"
cat - "that depends a good deal on where you want to get to?"
alice - "i don't much care where"
cat - "then it doesn't matter which way you go"
alice - "so as long as i get SOMEWHERE"
cat - "oh you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough"

i do not want to get out of bed in the morning. sometimes when i am doing things i feel as though my heart is deliberately calling out to me. almost like a little voice. not my conscience but my heart, whispering, this is where you belong. i haven't had this in a while now. i feel like my soul is intrinsically tied to the earth, that my roots are buried deep within the soil & my soul exists outside of me, all around me in the wind. i am completely and utterly alone. i want to fall asleep, and wake up with our bodies entwined.