play russian roulette as we kiss

guts out everywhere. i haven't been this sick in so long, but i have a roof, a bed and a lot of time to think. drifting again, i must write the stories from the ends of the earth, stories from the depths of my heart. im looking forward to christmas, ice cream, beach hats and long days with just laughter and music. and i am thankful for all of this, even though it hurts so much i have lived extraordinary things these past years. i must find new ways to feel again, find the courage i had when i lived in the woods, find ways to write a story everyday, to communicate without words. i must find the way to see my hands in my dreams. to add colours to every experience, every moment. to stop being so stubborn over the smallest things.. we're way past inappropriate.

tomorrow i am sending away my application to the australian red cross to volunteer in the yconnect? programs. gym on thursday with karli. life is picking up. a decision needs to be made soon - will i have the guts? i can't be your saving grace.

the world doesn't stop just because i do.