you're a stonefox

i have not a thing to say about this that hasn't been said by someone, more eloquently. i keep coming back to the thought that my messy little cut-&-paste collage of a life makes this awkward. i'd like to show him how i am when i'm not feeling misplaced and compromised and stifled. i want to bring him closer, but not into this. not these speech bubbles filled with nuances about my dispassionate, ordered days. i actually give a damn enough now to be bothered by the notion that someone i care about has to see such a limited view of me.

i dream of leaving and endings so much that when they come, it's no surprise. i'm going to be a gypsy soon. toodles.

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